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Forgiveness - Can you language it?

May I share a story with you?

I have permission to share this story from the brave lady that I was working with...

We were talking about forgiveness and she said that she could never forgive the man who had been responsible for some horrendously horrible things when she was a child....

I asked, what does forgiveness mean to you?

She thought and really struggled to give me the definition of forgiveness...

I recognised a pattern of human behaviour.... "if you can't language it, you can't have it"

So I asked her what forgiveness feels like to her....

It was like opening the flood gates and all of these words tumbled out of her....

Words like, freedom, weight being lifted, care, love, joy, happiness.... and many many more.

I wrote as fast as I could and captured all of the words on a piece of paper and when she was finished, I turned the paper around and told her that this was her definition of forgiveness.

I explained that now she could language forgiveness she could have it.

I then asked her who she'd like to forgive first and she immediately said I could never forgive him, referring to the man from her childhood and I said that was totally understandable...

I then went on to suggest that she forgive herself for carrying all that anger, resentment, hatred and sadness for all these years, and as she thought about it and read the words on the paper she started to cry and she later explained that in this tears were all the things she was forgiving herself for.

I am happy to say that the lady completed the coaching and is now living a much more fulfilled life... She also tells me that she is much more forgiving to others and herself now and this has changed her life and the future of her life.

Learn to forgive yourself first... For your future you will thank you for it.

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