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Writer's pictureSteve Barker

Cracking the code to meeting new people

Updated: Jan 29, 2020




May I share with you an experience that I had last year which really impacted me and helped me see something in a different way?


Thank you.


I was running a workshop at a business and there were about 30 people in the room, the workshop I was running was around “above the line & below the line thinking” and approximately 30 minutes into the workshop I realised I had made a massive mistake…


Internally I was like….fark!!! what do I do?


I have completely “cocked” this up…


How do I recover from this?


All the time I am continuing to talk and share this concept whilst inside my head it was chaos…


I was running through different ideas like…


Shall I just carry on and hope nobody notices?


But if I do that and there is someone in the audience who knows what I am talking about, I am going to look like a complete idiot and I am meant to be the professional here, the expert as it were….


Should I come clean?


But then they will think I am an idiot again and again, I am meant to be the expert here and the professional…


What should I do…


Then I thought I should do the right thing, which is confess to my massive error, hope that they accept it and we can all move forward.


So that is what I did….


I paused the presentation and confessed that the 2 words that I was using to describe each element of the model were back to front.

I apologised and said that I had got confused and that I couldn’t forgive myself if I had not corrected it and I would have also felt like a fraud to have carried on.


My apology was accepted, I made the changes and we continued…


But something had changed, something had shifted, the feel of the room was different.

The audience started to participate more, ask questions, and share their experiences and examples as we worked through the model.

Wow, this was great I thought to myself… This is exactly what I wanted to happen, but why was it happening now and not so much before.


After the workshop I was chatting with members of the audience and spoke about the shift I felt in the room and one person summed it up beautifully.


They said to me, the moment I put my hand up and admitted my mistake, they saw me as a human being…


Not the expert, not the professional at the front of the room, but as a human being who was fallible the same as everyone else, and the fact that I had put my hand up demonstrated that I had integrity.


They went on to explain that because I had led the way, they felt safe that they could share their experiences and thoughts as well, and when others saw that it was Ok to do it, they joined in too.


Boom that is when it hit me…


Vulnerability baby!


I had demonstrated vulnerability and this had opened the door to connection, trust, integrity and communication…


Because I was able to let go of my fear and step into vulnerability I had increased my accessibility to others and I was seen as a human being with all of my vulnerabilities… just the same as everyone else.


Wow, that was a really big moment for me and helped me grow massively.


Now I am happy to leave fear where it belongs and embrace the Vulnerability.


Because this was such a powerful moment for me, and has given me so much, I wrote a quick guide on being able to let go of anything that maybe holding you back.


If you would like a copy of this guide, please use the link below….I wrote it so everyone can access this skill and embrace their vulnerability.



I know vulnerability for many many people is scary….how do I know this, because I have run 2 day workshops on vulnerability and that is the common conception of vulnerability.


So learn to embrace your vulnerability, I know it is easier said than done, but vulnerability is the bridge to connection and fulfilment.


How can you learn, well there are some great books out there, especially by Rene Brown. Or you could watch some podcasts and learn more about it.


Or even better, if you are in Wagga on the 23rd February, I am running a workshop where I will be sharing heaps of insights, hacks, tips etc just like this one….plus I will be discussing the “Vulnerability” and unpacking it even more, this would be a wonderful safe environment to explore it and discover some techniques of how you can embrace your vulnerability to create even greater connections in your life.


If you are interested in attending this workshop, you can book your ticket using the link below.

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