I don't want to be me no more...


Staring into the mirror, these words would go round and round in my head.

"I don't want to be me no more"

"Who are you?"

Every mirror, every reflection ...there was me.

But it wasn't me!

Who had I become?

Who was I?

Whoever it was, I didn't like them, but I knew that was me staring back...

I knew I didn't want to be me no more!

My name I Steve and this is how I felt for almost 10 years of my life

I call this period of my life "being lost in the wilderness of mirrors"

During this period of time I had been diagnosed with Cumulative Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

I was in the military and it was made clear to me that if I didn't overcome it, my career was over...

They wanted me to take drugs to bring chemical balance back to my mind and body...

I said I was not interested in that, and I was going to do it without the drugs...

My journey begun the day I made that decision...

Some how I had to find a way out from this wilderness of mirrors...

I had to disasociate myself from what I had become

The "angry little man"

With the help of professionals and friends I started to learn about my behaviour...

Why I made the choices I did, the subconcious thinking that was going on.

I kept working on me, understanding me...

I read, listened, learnt, watched, studied, applied, implemented

As time passed by I started to see small but significant changes.

The "angry little man" in the mirror was slowly changing...

Day by day, week by week, year by year.... the journey continued.

"angry man" was able to smile now and then...

"angry man" was able to cry now and then...

"angry man" was learning to become vulnerable...

"angry man" was calming...

and a new person emerged from under this hard, crusty exterior...

It was like a snake shedding its skin...

But it was more, there was a transformation, because as much as a snake sheds it's skin....it's still a snake...

Things were changing...

My thoughts were changing...

My beliefs and values were changing...

I was starting to communicate better...

Relationships were working, which made a nice change...

There was less stress, more love...

There was space and time...

Life wasn't a frantic battle every day....

I felt more connected with myself...

Then in one training I discovered my inner child...

The little 5 year old version of me...

Sitting lonely, on a bunk bed in a cold deserted worn down ol house...

All alone, just waiting for me...

In this training they suggested we reassure our 5 year old versions of ourselves and then leave them there...

No bloody way was that happening, I scooped up my 5 year old and put him inside of me...

Hello..... I am Steve

I love who I see in the mirror every day...

I am so thankful to the Steve who said no to the drugs, because that Steve embarked me on a journey to rediscover myself...

The wonderful, loving, caring, self who I am now proud to call me.

I want to be me now....I love being me now...

and even more....I love doing what I do now

Which is sharing all that I learnt on my journey of doing the Inner Work with others...

People from all parts of the world and in all different stages of their lives.

Some want to change who they are, rediscover themselves...

Others already are very happy where they are but want to enhance all they have...

Some have no idea what they want, they just know they don't want to be where they currently are...

I am proud to say...

I am Steve and I am Enough.

Contact

Steve Barker

Tanami Street

Wagga Wagga

NSW 2650

0499 152 552

steve@iamenoughcoaching.com

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© 2020 I am Enough Coaching.

ABN 42503797846

WWC #: WWC1056739E