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Why can't you just shut up and listen

Updated: Jan 9, 2021

Just listen for once
Shut up and Listen

Why can’t you just shut up and listen?

Have you ever felt like that when you are trying to talk to someone?

It is so infuriating when they keep butting in and you haven’t even got to your point.

Listening is as much of a skill as talking is.

I am sure you have heard the common phrase “We listen to respond”

And that is very true…

I know I am guilty of it a lot of the time, but I have found a quick and easy way to stop doing this.

It is so simple it will blow your mind…


“Stick your tongue to the roof of your mouth”

That is it, simple as that.

Now I know you are probably thinking….eh? What’s Steve on about now?


Here is the principle and as I often say, when we understand, it makes sense and we can see the logic in it and that is when the trust and belief comes.

So, play along with me…right now… Stick your tongue to the roof of your mouth.

Now with your tongue still stuck to the roof of your mouth, try and say something.

It is nearly impossible and any noise you did make is just weird right?

So, here is how it works…

When we are listening to someone else - Stick your tongue to the roof of your mouth.

Then when you feel the urge to jump in, to have your say, to add to the quality of the conversation (or not) you have to physically “un-stick” your tongue from the roof of your mouth.

It is in this millisecond of time and the fact that you physically have to do something that you ask yourself, is now the best time for me to speak?

Yes, a millisecond…doesn’t sound long, but it is enough time to catch yourself and if it will not benefit the conversation or will interrupt the other person….then keep that tongue stuck to the roof of your mouth.

This has helped me tremendously within my Coaching practice and critical for me to be able to listen 100% with every fiber of my being to my clients.

See, told you it was easy….nothing too it.

Listening is a gift.

And when we can give it to another person, to listen wholeheartedly, not interrupt, not comment or add….but just listen, that other person will feel valued, validated, cared for and connected.

Imagine if you could give that gift in every conversation you have….

How great would your relationships be?

(p.s. if you were on one of my programs with me, I would share even more easy tips like this to enhance your communication skills and your relationships…)

Wherever you are in the world, take care and be kind to yourself

Steve Barker

I am Enough Coaching


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